Friday, October 03, 2008

A light hearted post for a light hearted day...

     The generous Lord above has finally decided to bless the dry and burnt lands and people of the greater Redding area with a light yet ample pouring out of the Heavens above this fine day.  About fucking time.  The rain is finally falling in Redding and everyone is quite happy about it.  Of course, as is our nature, we will all be complaining about the non-stop rain in a matter of weeks, and the circle of life goes on.  On a less cynical note, today has been quite magnificent.  I walked the two little dachshund  that I walk on weekday mornings and hopped onto my bike as the first few drops of rain bravely began leaping from their homes in the clouds above to join us here on the ground below.  It was oh so very nice to ride my bike in nice cool weather.  When I arrived home I decided it was time to get a bike that is more suited for rainy weather, namely something with some sort of a braking mechanism.  So off I went to Village Cycle and purchased an old and rusty Schwinn from Andy.  It is in surprisingly good condition and, as is the case with all old cheap low-end Schwinns, is also unfathomably heavy.  But fixing up old bike projects are always fun and a good dirty way to pass the time.  When I arrived home for the third time of the morning, Kelly and I prepared brunch, consisting of chili, corn bread and potatoes, and watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.  Now I am sitting in a corner at Sue's, the one that is a window at a 45 degree angle to the other walls, sipping on coffee sweetened with honey and staring out into the parking lot.  The usual crew is working this afternoon, and I have to say it is always nice to talk to them.  But before I get too carried away, which I already fear I have, I must stop myself from going off on too many tangents and getting to the point.  I wanted to write this post about the video game Sing Star.
    If you haven't ever played Sing Star, it is like Guitar Hero, or Dance Dance Revolution, in that things move across the screen and the player must react to the moving things at the appropriate  time.  With this game, pitch levels are moving across the screen and you have to sing at the right pitch to get points.  Sounds simple?  I thought so too.  If you don't know this about me, and be prepared it may be a shocker, I am and have always been tone deaf.  I know it is very surprising that a barely mediocre musician (If I can be called such) is tone deaf, but believe it I  am.  Ironically enough on the way over to the Gray's house, where we were to play the game, I told Kelly about my tone deafness.  We joked about it some on the way there then we didn't think of it again until game time.  When my turn came I had to sing a Duet battle with Kelly, who has a lovely voice and in-tune ear.  The first note to the song that I had to sing flew out of my vocal chords and into the microphone like a baby bird taking it's first flight and falling wildly onto powerlines.  I attempted to adjust my pitch and failed miserably, picture the baby bird twitching on the ground as sparks still fizzle out around it.  I could not do it.  My average score was "Lousy."  Which was a huge self-confidence booster.  The scoring system goes something like this: If you are good it will say things like perfect, great, right on, or you rule!  If you are me it will say things like awful, terrible, you are the worst vocalist ever on the face of the Earth past or present, you fucking suck stop wasting our time and hurting the ears of those around you, and the worst possible score is simply, lousy.  Which again was my average.  The baby bird has died and it's birdy mother has been forced to move on and is thinking of building her next nest on the ground, away from powerlines.  Needless to say, the lovely Kelly with the pristine voice and pure heart destroyed me in the battle.  David tried to cheer me up by saying, between laughs, "You're harmonizing really well."  I don't really believe him though and I will never sing again.

2 comments:

Kelly said...

sorry buddy.
who cares about singing when you can write so eloquently.

noah! said...

once again your blog makes me laugh out loud.

zach: 2
noah: 0